We Told Women They Could Have It All – Kelsea Ballerini’s New Song Asks: At What Price?

Kelsea Ballerini’s new viral song, “I Sit in Parks,” is terrifying. It’s not just another breakup anthem or empowerment song. It’s a confession – an elegy for something missing, something she only realized she wanted after the world told her she didn’t want it.

“I sit in parks / It breaks my heart / ‘Cause I see how far I’ve come / From the things I want.”

In just a few lines, she captures the pain of a generation of women who were told to pursue freedom, ambition and self-discovery – but never told what to do when they were alone and wondering if they had run too far from the things that had grounded them.

Ballerini divorced her husband three years ago because she wasn’t sure she wanted children.

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Ballerini spoke with Alex Cooper for an episode of her podcast “Call Her Daddy,” in which she opened up about the demise of her marriage and her divorce EP.

“I don’t know if I even want kids or not, but that was something that we talked about early on and that was something that I was transitioning into, you know, because he was ready,” the “Heartfirst” artist said on the podcast. “He said, ‘I don’t want to be an old dad,’ is what he kept saying. And I thought, ‘I’m just not there yet.'”

Now she writes songs about sitting in parks, watching other women’s families, and wondering if she missed her moment.

Our body, heart and soul have rhythms that no ideology can rewrite. For decades, women were told that “you can have it all” meant “you can have it all later.” But ‘later’ comes sooner than we think.

It’s heartbreaking, not because she’s weak or naive, but because she’s honest. She says out loud what millions of women feel but are too afraid to admit: that the promises of feminism – which said motherhood would shackle them, that domesticity was a trap, that real meaning lay in career success and unfettered independence – left them emptier than before.

“Did I miss it? Is it now / a lucid dream, is it my fault / for chasing after things that a body clock doesn’t wait for?”

That boundary should be included in the cultural record because it’s not just about fertility. It’s about time, and how brutal it is. Our body, heart and soul have rhythms that no ideology can rewrite. For decades, women were told that “you can have it all” meant “you can have it all later.” But ‘later’ comes sooner than we think.

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This is why Kara Kennedy and I started ‘The Mom Wars’ on Substack – to paint a different picture, to go against the steady drumbeat that tells young women that motherhood is a burden, not a blessing.

Kelsea Ballerini says out loud what millions of women feel but are too afraid to admit: that the promises of feminism—the promises that said motherhood would shackle them, that domesticity was a trap, that the real meaning lay in career success and unfettered independence—left them empty than before. (Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for The Recording Academy)

We wanted to create a space where women could tell the truth about what makes life full, not hollow. A space to remind the next generation that love, family and sacrifice are not signs of surrender; they are signs of strength.

Ballerini’s song is powerful because it is not bitter, but sad. It’s reflective. And it is real. She doesn’t piss anyone off, not even herself. She’s sitting in that park, with her vape and her Lexapro, staring at the life she thought she didn’t want.

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“They lay on a blanket / And — d** it, he loves her / I wonder if she wants my freedom / Like I want to be a mother.”*

That text cuts straight through the performative feminism of our time. We were sold a freedom that was supposed to make us happy. Instead, it has made us lonely. We traded carrots for wings, but no one told us how to land.

Kelsea Ballerini and her husband Morgan Evans divorced in 2022. (Taylor Hill)

I read those lyrics and felt a strange mix of sadness and gratitude. Sadness for the women who believed the lies, who gave up marriage or motherhood because they were told those things would limit them. Gratitude that I didn’t listen.

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This week I bought myself a necklace with a charm for each of my children’s names, six in total. When I put it around my neck in the morning, it feels like armor against the cynicism of the world. Each letter is a reminder that I have chosen a path that the culture scoffs at, but my soul celebrates.

Motherhood doesn’t end your story. It deepens it.

I think about the conversations I’ve had with younger women, smart, driven, beautiful, whispering that they “maybe” want children someday, but not yet, not while they’re building something. I want to grab their hands and say: you are building something every time you love someone, every time you nurture, every time you choose connection over distraction.

Motherhood doesn’t end your story. It deepens it.

Motherhood doesn’t end your story. It deepens it. (iStock)

“I Sit in Parks” is both a warning and a mirror. It shows us what happens when a culture teaches women to measure their worth in metrics—like tours, degrees, promotions, and followers—rather than in love, faith, or legacy.

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And yet Ballerini’s honesty can also be a start. Maybe this song, with its haunting melody and piercing regret, can spark a new conversation. Maybe it can help young women ask better questions before it’s too late.

Perhaps Ballerini’s honesty can also be a start. Maybe this song, with its haunting melody and piercing regret, can spark a new conversation. Maybe it can help young women ask better questions before it’s too late. (Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

Because this quiet, reflective sadness is what awaits us at the end of the “girlboss” rainbow, and we can do better by our daughters.

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I applaud Kelsea Ballerini for being so vulnerable, so human, and so courageous. She speaks for a generation who were told motherhood was a detour – only to discover that it was the destination all along.

So yes, I sit in parks too, but with six little charms who call me mom. And I thank God every day that I didn’t miss it.

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This essay was first published on Author’s Substack »Mother wars.”