States across the country are working to restrict student phone use in schools. From New Jersey’s push for a strict phone-to-bell ban to stricter rules in Indiana and Florida, lawmakers are responding to a growing consensus among parents and educators: constant distractions harm children — and boys are often hit hardest.
But phones aren’t the real story, they’re just a symptom. Across America, there is something wrong with too many of our young men. They are not stupid and not hopeless, but too many people are drifting, less resilient, less anchored and less willing to take on adult responsibilities when life is more non-negotiable than previous generations.
As a university president, I see the consequences firsthand. Young men arrive with talent and ambition, yet too many struggle with the disciplines that make success possible, such as sustained focus, perseverance, the ability to learn and the maturity to control impulses rather than be controlled by them.
I’ve sat across from students who were smart enough to thrive and motivated enough to dream big — but who were repeatedly undone by ordinary responsibilities that we all take for granted. They fell behind not because they lacked intelligence, but because they couldn’t maintain attention, accept feedback without taking it as a personal attack, or view deadlines as realistic until they had already passed. By the time a university sees that pattern, it is not just a campus problem, but one that has been years in the making.
Over-reliance on cell phones is not the big problem for young men. (iStock)
The broader evidence points in the same direction. In October 2024, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that among recent high school graduates ages 16 to 24, 69.5% of young women had some college education, compared to 55.4% of young men.
Gallup reported in 2025 that 25% of American men aged 15 to 34 said they felt lonely a lot the day before. An analysis by the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that the labor force participation rate of men aged 20 to 24 has fallen from 82.6% in 2000 to 73.1% in 2022, with a further decline to 68.2% expected in 2032.
Higher education is a powerful way to prepare, yet it is one of many honorable paths. Our country depends on builders, tradesmen, entrepreneurs, service workers, skilled workers and professionals. But every young man needs a path that builds discipline, competence and purpose. When boys become men without lasting friendships, meaningful work, and mentors who not only inspire them but also know their names, the consequences do not remain private; they emerge in families, workplaces, and communities that depend on trustworthy men.
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We should not be surprised by what we see, because our culture has weakened the conditions that help boys become men. We have confused love with removing hardship, lowered standards in the name of compassion, and avoided hard conversations in the name of sensitivity. Empathy is important, but empathy that never expects growth becomes surrender. Boys often rise or fall according to expectations, and when expectations disappear, many become not stronger, but vulnerable.
We have also spent too much of our boyhood on screens and then wondered why attention, patience and self-control have eroded. Used without limitations, a phone becomes a training ground for impulses, distractions, and endless stimulation. A boy shaped by constant gratification will struggle with the unglamorous habits that adulthood requires, such as showing up, sticking to difficult tasks, finishing what he starts, and doing the right thing when no one is looking.
We have also made a serious mistake in the way we talk about masculinity. In condemning what is truly destructive in some expressions of masculinity, we have too often treated masculinity itself as suspect. Boys hear what they should not be, but too rarely hear what they should become. That vacuum fills with apathy, anger, or false bravado that imitates strength while dodging responsibility. The answer to toxic masculinity is not hostility toward masculinity. It is noble manhood, strength under control, courage in the service of others, restraint over appetite and honor that needs no applause.
If we are serious about changing this, we don’t have to wait for a perfect federal plan or some other national commission. Families, schools, churches, employers, and community leaders can begin now to rebuild the conditions that shape boys into men. This means that mentoring must become normal again.
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I’ve sat across from students who were smart enough to thrive and motivated enough to dream big — but who were repeatedly undone by ordinary responsibilities that we all take for granted.
Every school community, church, association and neighborhood must be able to say with integrity that no boy grows up alone here. Boys need constant contact with good men who demonstrate integrity, hard work, self-control, and responsibility, and who challenge, correct, and engage them in real life through service and honest conversation.
It also means restoring norms that actually mean something, including respect for women and authority figures. Schools must enforce codes of conduct that protect learning and require decency. Coaches should bench talent that has no respect for teammates. Employers should reward reliability and correct immaturity. Parents should insist on chores, punctuality, and integrity at home, and teach boys early that strength should never be an excuse to humiliate, objectify, intimidate, or manipulate women.
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This is urgent and we must stop pretending otherwise. The window for molding boys into men does not remain open forever. Habits are learned early, often reinforced, and strengthened or neglected each year. If we continue to discuss this as a theory while boys continue to drift in real time, we will lose another generation, and the recovery will be longer and more difficult than the prevention.
America doesn’t need more commentary about young men. We need adults who are willing to rebuild the conditions that shape them. Families, churches, schools, and communities all have a role, and at colleges like mine we take on that responsibility by helping to shape not only capable graduates but also men of character. Do it now, before drift becomes the standard and before another generation is damaged in ways we will spend decades trying to undo. We’re not just trying to guide boys into adulthood. We are trying to raise noble men.
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