In 2024, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an advisory declaring loneliness a public health epidemic. He wasn’t exaggerating. The data shows that social isolation is as deadly as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day and increases the risk of premature death by almost 30%. Yet as a nation we have done remarkably little to address this problem.
I have been a practicing psychiatrist for over 50 years. This holiday season my phone won’t stop ringing. Patients are desperate for appointments – not because of clinical depression or anxiety disorders, but because they are deeply alone. A recent AARP survey found that 40% of adults age 45 and older feel lonely, up five points from a few years ago. The holidays only exacerbate the problem.
This isn’t just a personal tragedy for millions of Americans – it’s a policy crisis. Loneliness drives up healthcare costs, reduces worker productivity and puts strain on an already overburdened mental health system. When people lack social connection, they get sick more often, recover more slowly and die younger. Medicare, Medicaid and private insurers are footing the bill for what is essentially a social problem masquerading as a medical problem.
Washington likes to debate health care spending. Here’s a conversation we’re not having: The most cost-effective intervention for many patients is not another drug or procedure, but a human connection. And that is something that no government program can prescribe.
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Loneliness is especially a problem during the holiday period. (iStock)
But individuals can. Here’s what I tell my patients – and what I would tell policy makers looking for upstream solutions to downstream healthcare costs:
Pick up the phone and actually call someone
Don’t wait for them to reach out. Ask how they are doing. If things are going well, make plans. Make sure you call twice a day. It sounds simple because it is.
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Help someone who has it worse
Serve food at a shelter. Join a toy campaign. You’ll be surrounded by people who share the same goal, and chances are you’ll stick around afterwards to share a meal together.
Show it to your faith community
Churches, synagogues, mosques: they have been bringing people together during the holidays for centuries. There’s a reason why it works. These institutions remain among the few spaces in American life designed specifically for communal gatherings.
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Consciously practice gratitude
When you’re lonely, you focus on what’s missing. Fight back. Write down what you are grateful for. The research on the psychological benefits of gratitude is robust: this isn’t self-help fluff.
Get off the couch
I see it all the time: patients feel lonely, so they skip the gym. Wrong move. Exercise improves mood, and gyms, walking groups, and fitness classes put you close to other people pursuing the same goal.
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Stop saying no
You’d be surprised how many lonely patients admit to turning down holiday invitations. “I didn’t feel like it.” “I don’t really know them.” Enough. Say yes. You can always leave early, but only if you show up first.
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None of this requires legislation or appropriations. It requires individuals to make different choices – and a cultural shift to valuing personal connections over digital alternatives. Our phones have made us more connected than ever and lonelier than ever. That is not a paradox; it’s a warning.
The surgeon general was right to sound the alarm. But the cure for this epidemic will not come from Washington. It comes from living rooms, places of worship, community centers and every small decision to stand up for someone else. Loneliness is not a life sentence. It’s a choice we can undo – starting now.
