The holidays start earlier and earlier every year and the expectations, shopping lists and parties never end. By the time December rolls around, many parents are already out of breath. I don’t have it. I want the Christmas season to be peaceful and joyful. I refuse to run around like a crazy woman fulfilling grocery lists, going to every Christmas party, and most importantly, continuing the Santa tradition for my kids.
That’s right – we don’t do the whole Santa Claus thing in our family. No presents from Santa Claus. No photos with Santa. Not sitting on an old man’s lap and telling him all about Christmas wish lists. The only cookies left out on Christmas Eve are the cookies I eat while wrapping presents that come from my husband and me for our children – not from Santa.
I don’t feel at all guilty that my daughters didn’t get the full Santa experience and if you choose the same path, congratulations, your holiday season just got a little easier. Calm Meditation App confirmed in a November study that 76% of millennial moms feel pressure to create a perfect vacation experience.
Because the perfect holiday experience does not exist, you can still eliminate one thing. The mental release will feel great and the kids won’t miss any magical parts of the season. They will also have the opportunity to learn true gratitude and not have the crushing experience that a big man in red and white fluffy clothes doesn’t really exist.
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A family Christmas is just perfect, even without Santa Claus. (iStock)
The Santa myth can promote a lack of gratitude for gifts received. Children only write to Santa Claus when they want something. There are no Santa mailboxes for thank you notes. Parents work so hard to provide for their children and most already suffer from a lack of gratitude from their offspring, which is exacerbated when Santa gifts the children things they want and there are no opportunities to express gratitude to the real gift giver. Gratitude is a lesson I try to weave into our daily lives, and the tradition of Santa Claus fails to teach any kind of gratitude.
My parents perpetuated the Santa Claus myth for years after I made it all up for the sake of my younger siblings. I remember as a teenager unwrapping a gift with the “From” tag that said “Santa Claus.” In a flash of teenage girl clarity, I felt sad for my parents because I couldn’t thank them at that moment. My mother knew what I really wanted for Christmas, and she got it for me, but disguised it as a gift from a holiday character. It felt a bit dirty.
Although I grew up in a middle-class family, I was not immune to the struggles of others. The myth of a jolly old elf who brings loads of presents to children every Christmas may lend itself to children in struggling families who feel abandoned or unseen when Santa fails to bring them the flashy gifts some of their friends received from Santa. While life is in no way fair, neither is the continued existence of a mythical figure who brings expensive gifts to rich kids and smaller, less flashy gifts to poorer kids.
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It was so liberating to take Santa Claus out of our holiday tradition. My husband and I have never had to lie to our kids about Santa Claus or break the news that he isn’t a real creature, and that no reindeer will land on our roof on Christmas Eve. What we have told our daughters is that the legend of Santa Claus is based on the real Saint Nicholas, a real bishop from the fourth century whose generosity and thoughtfulness demonstrated true virtues that we all strive to possess.
When my kids were little and asked about Santa Claus, a conversation started about gift giving at Christmas. It was a great opportunity to talk about the gift-giving tradition of weaving in our Christian faith, which often gets lost in the absolute madness that comes with the typical holidays. Although Santa Claus is not real, the spirit of giving gifts to those we love at Christmas reflects those who brought gifts to baby Jesus to honor Him.
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One of the things my family likes to do during the Christmas season is visit nativity scenes, especially live ones. The church we go to every week is home to the largest nativity scene in South Carolina, which I think is the coolest part. The life-size camel and nativity figures are beautiful, and my family gets to see them every week until early February, the actual end of the Christmas season. The Nativity is a perfect reminder of what this season means and who our focus should be.
Creating the perfect holiday experience doesn’t mean parents have to go overboard, pile a mountain of presents under the tree and do literally anything to make their kids happy and give them a meaningful Christmas experience. Santa doesn’t have to participate.
I want the Christmas season to be peaceful and joyful. I refuse to run around like a crazy woman fulfilling grocery lists, going to every Christmas party, and most importantly, continuing the Santa tradition for my kids.
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While we’re at it, throw out the Elf on the Shelf too. Mothers don’t have one more thing to do every day leading up to Christmas, nor do they need one more lie to perpetuate. Of all the modern holiday traditions, this one is by far the worst.
The things that made our Christmas season beautiful are minimal. We volunteer at the Christmas party of our local maternity hospital. We drive around and see Christmas lights and go to Christmas parades. We take time to pray at the nativity scene in our parish. The magic of the season doesn’t have to be created; it is already present in the silent manger scene. The most important gift children need is the presence of their parents and those who love them, because those are the only real things that last in this world.
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