My family and I are lifelong Illinoisans. We now live every day with the consequences of what I believe is a misguided sanctuary city and state policy in our state. Our top government leaders – Democratic Senators Dick Durbin and Tammy Duckworth, along with Democratic Gov. JB Pritzker – have supported these policies, often without what many would consider meaningful guardrails.. Too often, there has been no direct involvement from these leaders or recognition of the victims living with the real consequences of the policies in the shelters.
My daughter Katie was murdered on January 19, 2025 at the age of 20 in an incident that should never have happened. She and four of her friends were stopped at a red light in Urbana when they were rear-ended at nearly 80 miles per hour. The driver – previously deported, driving drunk, operating under an alias and with a criminal record that raised serious concerns – was able to remain in the country and on the road.
The impact was so severe that first responders had to pry Katie and the other girls from the wreckage. Katie was killed on the spot. Another young woman died in hospital the next day. The three others in the car were seriously injured. What should have been an ordinary moment at a traffic light became an irreversible tragedy.
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That’s the reality behind what are often abstract policy debates, including those over the policies of sanctuary cities and the state.
I encountered that connection firsthand at the end of March.
On March 25, 2026, I traveled to Washington, DC to testify before the Senate Subcommittee on the Constitution. Senator Durbin – one of the Illinois senators – was part of that broader committee process. Yet it was my other senator, Tammy Duckworth, who I encountered outside the hearing rooms of the U.S. Capitol.
Sen. Tammy Duckworth, D-Ill., threatened to block a vote on the 2026 National Defense Authorization Act on Thursday, but backed down over a guarantee to hold hearings on President Donald Trump’s deployment of the National Guard in blue cities like Chicago. (Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images)
I introduced myself and explained why I was there. I told her about my daughter – an innocent victim in a case that raises serious questions about the policies of the sanctuary city and the state she supported.
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Her reaction surprised me. She told me she wasn’t aware of Katie’s story.
Subconscious. Fourteen months after her death, a United States Senator, who represents me in Congress, remained unaware of an incident that profoundly affected one of her constituents.
Katie Abraham was killed in January 2025 when the vehicle she was driving was struck from behind by an illegal, drunk driver. (Joe Abraham)
I chose not to explain my situation at that moment – ​​not out of disrespect, but out of principle.
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Elected officials have a responsibility to understand the real impact of the policies they support. That responsibility should not rest solely on the shoulders of grieving families.
I told Senator Duckworth that if she wanted to better understand my situation, she could take the time to learn more about it what happened and contact me directly. I would be open to that conversation.
What followed were calls from the senator’s staff expressing their condolences, and later a request for my email address so the senator could send a letter. I refused. A form letter may be well-intentioned, but it is not the same as direct engagement or a meaningful attempt to understand.
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At this time, I am open to a sincere conversation with Senator Duckworth, although experience makes it difficult to predict whether that will ever happen.
Unfortunately, this was not an isolated experience.
For more than fourteen months, Senator Durbin has not publicly acknowledged Katie’s story – no explanation, no outreach, no acknowledgment.
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That silence persisted even as I sat just feet away from him last month during a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing that lasted more than two hours. During that time, Katie was not mentioned or explained by him — even as other senators took a moment to acknowledge her life.
That absence is difficult to understand.
Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., during a hearing on Capitol Hill on Dec. 3, 2025. (Demetrius Freeman/The Washington Post via Getty Images)
For years, Illinois officials have backed the sanctuary city and state policies with an open statement emphasis on compassion and protection. Those goals are important. But what is often missing from the discussion is a full account of the risks and unintended consequences that these policies can entail.
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And now we see another heartbreaking loss.
The tragic murder of 18-year-old Loyola University Chicago freshman Sheridan Gorman last month is another life taken too soon — another family facing unimaginable grief. I take no satisfaction in connecting the dots, but it reinforces a concern I’ve expressed before: when the consequences of sanctuary city and state policies are not fully recognized or examined, there is a risk that preventable tragedies could continue.
Sheridan Gorman smiles across the Chicago skyline, Illinois. (Sheridan G. Gorman via Instagram)
The hardest part is not simply the disagreement over policy, but the sense that the human impact of these outcomes is not always fully recognized.
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For the families and friends left behind, the loss does not fade with time or headlines. It nestles in the quiet moments – the empty chair at the table, the milestones that will never be achieved, the conversations that will never happen. Much of that grief is carried in silence.
What makes that burden heavier is not only when recognition is withheld or minimized, but also when these tragedies are contextualized in a way that shifts the focus from the loss itself. When the lives of those abducted are treated as secondary to broader political arguments, or when responsibility is shifted rather than accepted, this deepens the sense of distance between leaders and the people they serve.
Too often, those who promoted or defended these policies hesitate to fully accept their consequences. Instead, there is a tendency to reframe, point elsewhere, or emphasize competing narratives – rather than pausing and accepting responsibility where it is needed.
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That’s not leadership. It reflects a more cynical form of politics – one that families experience in a very personal way.
Families who have lost loved ones deserve more. They deserve recognition that is direct and sincere. They deserve leaders who are willing to face difficult outcomes honestly, even when they are uncomfortable, and who take responsibility for the positions they put forward.
Fundamental understanding and recognition of lives lost – of families forever changed – should not be difficult. It should not depend on politics. It should be a starting point for reflection and, if necessary, reassessment.
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At the heart of this issue is a broader question of responsibility. Public policy should strive to balance compassion with responsibility. It must remain open to evaluation, especially when lives are involved.
That’s what thoughtful leadership requires.
Too often, political realities—maintaining coalitions, shaping narratives, and defending existing positions—can make that kind of reflection difficult. When that happens, the distance between policymakers and the people affected by their decisions can widen.
This is not about partisanship. It’s about responsibility and responsiveness.
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When policies, including those of sanctuary cities and states, have real-world consequences, those results deserve recognition. When patterns raise concerns, they deserve careful consideration. And when lives are lost, they deserve to be acknowledged with sincerity and care.
As my family continues to live with this loss, that distance has never felt more real.
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The question is whether this will continue – or whether those in positions of authority are willing to end it through genuine commitment, responsibility and reflection.
Because leadership is ultimately not just about the policies one supports, but also about the willingness to face their outcomes with honesty and humanity.
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